karma

I have been frustrated with my employment for a few weeks as you know. Today was a great day.



After Christmas when we were all making our resolutions, one that I made was to take a course. I decided to take advantage of some courses being offered at my place of employment - YMCA. I have been studying both group and personal training. No studying doesn't quite paint the picture.... busting my ass is so much more realistic.

I have had 4 days off in 12 weeks and none of them were back to back. 90 hour work weeks where 1/3 of the hours were cooperative.

I am at the top of the rollercoaster.
You get on the ride and as the climb up the biggest hill begins you consider if you have made a mistake.... the climb continues and your strapped in and the climb feels like its going to take forever.... just as you reach the top you wonder if you can even do this at all.... and then, you take a grip-hold your breath-and make that leap into the ride of your future.

Until last week I was at the "is this ever going to end" stage. I have now invested 59 hours in the fitness centre doing everything from shadowing other certified trainers to washing down machines. In addition to this effort I have also invested 36 hours in group fitness classes doing everything from participating to leading small components. In addition to those efforts I have also invested 24 hours in Hydrotherapy classes doing everything from studying from the instructor to participating. A final addition to those efforts I have invested 6 hours in a total bone and joint class.

Did I mention that all of these hours were performed at the same time with a 40 hour paid position mixed in just for fun. Yup-I sometimes dont know how I'm standing.

Funny that the jobs I dont get paid to do are the ones I look forward to the most. Thats the Karma of the plan.

Maybe I will get the opportunity to be an Older Adult specialist. Maybe I will finally get out of school aged day care and feel productive again.

Maybe just maybe I have done enough good deeds that it's my turn for a little karma in my life.

The Beginning.

Have you ever found yourself at the beginning of your life? After 36 years on the planet it is society who has informend me that I am just a little person who has not accomplished very much.

I had a very ordinary childhood life, filled with the usual dysfunctional flare. I followed the little person path to life success that was instructed to me by my parents and other mentor figures.

I did things a little backwards, had my daughter at 20 and single. Tried to do something in college and failed miserably. Worked my way through the Recreation occupation as my mother had done (who is far more successful at it than I am I assure you). I left the recreation industry to persue my passion for travel completing a college diploma in travel and tourism, got a job as a travel agent and found that I was infact the worst travel agent in the history of travel agents. I left the travel industry and ran back to recreation with my little person humbalism and found a little position at the YMCA in the school aged child care department. After four years of doing the same little job everyday for just a little above minimum wage I decided to take a few courses. I completed the theory portions of both group and individual fitness leadership and was feeling pretty good about my new found place in the big world. I decided to push outside of my little person zone and apply for a job in the summer camp department as a director of a 300+ camper nature camp.

I was informend 3 days ago that I was not successful due to being too senior in the field and they were looking for someone who they could mentor. I was too old for the position? Were they really saying that?

To add to my little day, I recieved an e-mail from the coordinator of the fitness centre that she was happy to see me complete the course and while I was completing my cooperative hours on the weight room floor that I could spend a little extra time in there so that I can also look the part. I am too fat to be a personal trainer? Were they really saying that?

So we come to the part that is my beginning. I am 36 years old, 4'8" tall and 102 lbs, and too old and fat to succeed in my chosen field.

My plane has left the terminal without me and my little suitcase called my life. I was sure I confirmed the flight times 24 hours prior to departure.

So here we are; you and me in the departures terminal of my little life. This is where we begin.