Narrow Daylight

..... and then we booked a Cuban vacation. In that one minute - 4 months of stress had been lifted. Robbie called me at work that morning and said that he saw it online. I did my travel agent magic and we were booked for only $275.00 per person including all taxes.

I got my husband back. We took our time loving each other that day. We lied in bed laughing like old friends.

I found new hope in my profession. Very optimistic over my summer. I may even stay in the fitness centre.

So much in one confirmation number. Were back to age playing again. Were back to taking time out to love again. We have even begun entertaining again.

Spent quite a bit of time in the backyard and over the garden this weekend. It's really starting to come around.

In 29 days I will be on a beach. Just my husband and I. I can hardly stand it, I'm so excited!

29 days.

Mid May

SACC is winding down. 7 weeks left to go. Hard to believe that another year is over already. Upon reflection I can honestly say that if I can do this year, I can do any year.

The problems at my centre are also my fault. My children's behaviour are a direct reflection of my lack of program planning. That will be on the top of my to do better list next year.

Now that I am confident that I have once again been passed over for a management position I can somewhat relax and focus on the here and now. Despite my lack of entrance into the management world, I have accomplished quite a bit this past 6 months.

I have completed and certified as a personal fitness trainer. My hours on the fitness floor are only going to increase with great expectations by my coordinator.

I am on the cusp of being certified as a group fitness trainer and will then be honored a class to teach every Thursday at 11-12pm. I am really looking forward to that.

Since Justin moved back home in December, we have come a great way together. I now not only love him, but also like him these days. He is becoming more and more like his father everyday... he should only be so fortunate.

Kate and I are also growing in our relationship. Every now and then I get a glimpse of an expression or a phrase and I see the woman inside of her waiting for her moment. It fills my heart to know that at this moment she can be all the things that I dream for her.

Robbie and I are coasting. We don't take time out to love each other every night like we used to but I know the love is still there, hiding between the yawns and sleepy eyes. I'm not sure what our relationship needs, but we do need something... A vacation? A romantic weekend? At this moment I'd take 4 hours alone at home. With this household, that will never happen. We used to rationalise a $200.00 weekend away for the sake of romance. These days it seems that the more I make the less we do.

Krissy talks even less these days. When we ask her questions about her life, we are shut out or given the shortest answer possible. I just hope she knows how much I do care about her and her monumental daily events. She is so much more than she see's possible. It is her that I am most proud of right now for her strength and determination.

Keri will always be fine. Whether I am in her life or not. As long as when I am, I devote all efforts to Keri and her plan, life between us will always be good. One thing I am ever grateful to her for is her love and sisterhood to Catheryn. She will never know how much that means to me.

I look forward to my spring. To working less and gardening more. To spending more time with my children and finding my husband again. To wine and chimminea fires in my backyard. To entertaining friends.

The flowers in the backyard bloom in a welcome explosion of color and fragrance, the time is now.. exhale.

anniversaries

Today is my 4th anniversary.

I worked until 6pm.

We had take out pizza for dinner with the kids.

Rob left for a board meeting that has been going on for the past 2 hours.

He gave me a potted plant and a lovely card.

I gave him nothing.

Happy anniversary.

Sweet and Sour

About a week ago I successfully passed my personal conditioning exam. I am now officially a personal trainer. My plan is now becoming a reality.

I also had my first personal training client. His name is Kaas and he is 81. His left knee is terrible with arthritis and his right one is a replacement. He has hearing aids in both of his ears and still only hears 10%. And he is all mine!

I cover another Stretch and Tone class for Melida this week. I really love that group. Next Thursday I should be ready for my test. :) Then that Thursday low impact class is all mine! :)

This is all the Sweet part of the story.

I took a chance and applied for my boss' position now that she has been promoted to manager in Brantford. I was shocked that they called me in for an interview. I completed the interview and thought maybe I even had a chance. I was very saddened to find an e-mail waiting for me not 2 hours after my interview from my current supervisor who was also one of the staff that interviewed me. She was looking to have a meeting with both us as well as the other coordinators that I work with. She wants to talk about my schedule over the next few weeks.

In short it took them less than 2 hours to decide that I didn't get the job. There was still another day of interviewing to do. WOW.

Am I that terrible? Has my job performance over the past 4 years been that devastating? I am always the first they call when they need someone to do a task, so what's wrong with a promotion? I just completed presenting 2 professional developments for our sister branches. I was good enough to do that. I am disappointed. I find myself thinking thoughts of political corrupt. That these supervisors who I regard as mentors already had a person in mind for the position and I never has a chance for success, but allowed me to hope falsely. I am deeply disappointed.

This is the Sour part of the story.

Take a deep breath, keep pushing forward because tomorrow will not wait for you to sulk.